How to tell my work story.  I think I can tell it pretty well. 

How to tell my story in terms of change management--

--Hold up.  Why am I terrified?  

What am I scared of?

I am not lying.  I will be honest about what I've done. 

It is not as small as I think it is.

My work was neither big nor small.

It was work.

It was good work.

I did good work.

The ideas that I am incompetent

Incapable

of comprehension

retention

leadership

Are lies.  Lies from the Devil.

Straight from hell. 

I'm serious.  This is some serious b.s. straight from the enemy.

God is not a God of fear.  He is a god of courage and faith and hope and love.  And his perfect love casts out all fear.  ALL OF IT.  

So I CAST OUT ALL FEAR IN MY HEART IN THE NAME OF JESUS.

BY HIS STRIPES, I AM HEALED.

I AM NOT AFRAID ANYMORE>
I AM NOT AFRAID.

God ordained, God chose what's next.  God knows.  God blesses, God makes, God gives, God takes away

Blesssed be the name of the Lord.

Yahweh.  God almighty.  The only God.  The one true God.  The one by whom I am saved.

So yes, I will prepare.

But I will also walk into there knowing, without a shadow, without a doubt, that HE WILL WILL WHAT HE WILLS AND HE IS PROTECTING ME AND GUIDING ME.

I cannot go outside of His protection when I seek Him

Seek me and you shall find me

Ask me and it shall be given unto you

God, I ask for the right job

and I ask for favor with God and man, that I would be called righteous again

That's what hurts the most with TP is I did screw up

because it hurt to be there so much

I stood on the train tracks like that dog days song

waiting to get hit so I could feel happiness and freedom

and I'm sorry. Please redeem me

so that I might do good work in your name.

Please give me a chance to bless others in your name.

Please give me a chance to use my talents, whatever you think those are.

Please give me a chance to use my experience, my skills.

Please give me a chance to grow!

To learn!

To RETAIN!

TO use skills!

To help others!

To love others!  To have a faith of works 

and a faith in work

Please cast out fear

I am yours I am yours I am yours

I am sorry

for hurting Noa as I flailed

your will be done

your kingdom come

i believe

i still believe

in your miracles.

breathe life into these dry bones. tomorrow. tonight.  please

please forgive me

and let me try again

i'm sorry i'm so so sorry

i'm so so sorry

don't give up on me, with you, yet

Jesus you didn't have the coporate world.

Do you understand it?

Are all cultures the same overall because they all have the hearts of men?

Nay, you understand all because you are God.  I get that.  I think it's just historical Jesus that's so hard for me.  Like the stories make you more real and less real all at once, because you're human but you're also historical, from a culture that's not mine and with context that's not mine.  I'm sorry that's been so hard for me to get over.  I need help with that.  I need help hearing, seeing, feeling, trusting you're close.  

I am hopeful and yet I hurt, and I am grateful for the hope.  I am sad about Josh and I want to run fast

for my mother fast for my father

run for my sisters and my brothers

leave all my loving my loving behind

if i carry it with me i won't survive

the dog days are over

the dog days are done

hear the horses coming

here they come

hallelujah hallelujah

hallelujah hallelujah